Sunday, February 01, 2009

Half Well

My body reminds me that I am still only half well.

To bring you up to speed: I spent a week in the hospital in November with pneumonia. This is not my first bout, and once you've had it, you are much more susceptible to getting it again.

I am recovering very nicely, thank you for asking.

But.

I am not entirely well. Yet.

I am biking to work, photographing everything I possibly can, and once again juggling too many things at work and home.

Isn't that how I got in this situation?

Do you have anyone in your life who suffers from that super-person mentality? My progression went something like this: It's just a cold - it's just allergies - I can work through this - I'll shake this off with a weekend of good rest - I'll be in late today - honey, why can't I breathe?

OK. So, I listen. I listen to my body.

Biking on a cold (New Orleans cold, folks - I am silly, not insane) with limited lung capacity? Keep the Albuterol inhaler handy.

I am eating well, on a very regular schedule - I take all my meds, at the appointed time and never miss a dose. My labs are back where they should be in all categories.

And still my body reminds me that I am not quite there. Yet.

You see, my toenail is...well, odd.

One of the side effects of pneumonia and the inability to take in sufficient oxygen for all funtions in not just increased ditziness (I get that just by standing up too quickly!), but it deprives the extremities of the essentials.

My left big toenail is half-healthy...and half dirty-looking. You see, in November, when I couldn't breathe well and wasn't taking in enough oxygen, the body made the necessary choices of where to send the limited reserves.

This toenail was on the bottom of the list, so to speak.

So, it became discolored - gray-ish, but not dead-looking. Just un-well.

Now, weeks later, the toenail has half grown out - so it is half well and half not-so-well.

And it reminds me every day that I am on my way, but not quite there.

Yet.

I am so ready to be all well.

How are you doing?

4 comment(s):

soccer mom in denial

A sore throat thanks to little lady's latest cold (and never ending ailments) and sitting in a cold retreat center for the weekend (6 more hours to go).

While there are a million things to say, and I've said them all to you already, I'll just write

I love you.

Jen

I can so relate to this post, albeit for different reasons. For me, it's my body that attacks me via RA AND fibromyalgia and now my back seems to go out as well.

Like you, I do a million things.

Like you, I don't like to let go of any of them. "I'll be fine."

But we're not always, are we? I think you and I both seem to need to be better at listening to our bodies.

It sucks getting older, and it sucks having chronic conditions.

Take good care, my friend.

painted maypole

i am trying not to succumb to this cold. i didn't get as extreme, but I went about 3 months this fall thinking "oh this will go away any day now" and eventually getting dependent on Afrin, and when I finally went to the dr. and got on some real drugs, I was leaping for joy within a day because i felt so much better, and learned my lesson. if it doesn't start to improve in 7-10 days... go to the dr.

hope you and your toe are up to snuff soon.

Jenn in Holland

Better now, after 3 days with the flu. Bah.
But you, my dear, keep looking at that toe and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
I want to hear the all's well report soon...

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