Friday, April 20, 2007

Why Not?

I commented on a post recently and received an incredibly kind personal response to it that has stayed with me, popping up every other day to nag and say, "blog about it"...so here goes.

I was 23 when I found out I was HIV positive. I was sure I would be dead well before 30.

I am now 39 and still fighting the good fight. During a powerful conversation a few months ago, Soccer Mom thanked me (through tears, albeit) for not giving up. I don't have a choice, surrounded by the strong women in my life who'd kick my ass if I did give up, or even show signs of starting to.

I can't think of it as totals...not in numbers of doctors visits, or vials of blood drawn, or hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of pills swallowed, or sleepless nights, or crying jags, or friends who lost the battle.

It's the years that come to me, piling up their profound weight and simply not going away. 16 years. Whether I want to or not, every July 9, my brain reminds me, "This is the day they told your life has changed forever." I do not recall much of my adult life not thinking about this. That changes a guy for good. Maybe not for the better, but certainly For Good.

So, the response I got from commenting on that post was this:

16 years is a long time.
not long enough.
go 16 more.
then 16 more.

sure. why not.

Someone who didn't know me had summed up in words I never would have found just exactly how I deal with every day of my life. Thank you, Daniel.

And you know what? Why not?

6 comment(s):

jenn in holland

Ah! What a perfectly beautiful post. What a perfect sentiment.
I for one will add my vote to the "glad you are around" category. It has been such a trip to read through your archives recently. I haven't left comments because frankly so much of what I read has just left me speechless. I am virtually speechless over this post as well. You are a wonder. I am so happy to have found you!

Ambassador

Glad you're here too! Hoping to post some pics of my town soon...Ken

soccer mom in denial

I have to admit, keeping the secret has led me to be a bit stunned about how wonderfully public you are. Not that folks in NOLA didn't know but you weren't out there (yes I wrote that) as a poster boy (and a really cute one).

But I'm glad. You bring more meaning to this web 2.0 world we are hanging around in. And even more people will figure out what I see is so wonderful and loveable about you.

jenn in holland

Hey you,
Thanks for the comment over at my place. I will be happy to tell you what I can about posting photos and the like. I am no expert, but tell me what you know and I will fill in the gaps if I can.
Hope your weekend is marvy.
~jenn

aeinoyou AT yahoo DOT com

Gunfighter

Why not, indeed!

Live long, and prosper, brother.

Jodi

Wow! This is really cheeesy, but since I live my life in musicals the one thing I can think of is that scene from Rent-

There's only us
There's only this ...
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

Good for you, is the only other thing I can think to say.

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